I don’t think it should surprise people at all that I go in to friendships with pre-conceived expectations for the friendship. Actually with my history I tend to be more hard on friendships than I am with an actual partner. Here is why, the motivation for selecting a romantic partner is very primitive. Three reasons we select mates is to be provided for, emotional compatibility and sexual compatibility.
This makes sense, but why do we choose friendships weather professional or otherwise? I like the old saying I heard from an old friend on Wall street. “Everyone is out to get paid, laid or made.” So for the friendships that last with me its no surprise my friends are college to University graduates, who take logical approaches to every day issues and also are not quick to a temper. This is because I want friends that enforce my brand as an intelligent person. Here is why I classify the friendships that are lasting for me with these qualifications.
To start I choose to surround myself often long term with college and University graduates because I think that helps to speak to the quality of me as a person. If you choose to surround yourself with pot smokers and high school drop outs and you have a degree in business. You are not thinking about the brand you are putting out! There is a point to everything from our friends to our colleagues and I am much happier being surrounded with intelligent people. Usually friendships outside of the academic success realm don’t last very long…
With a few exceptions.This is because I find if you have academic success you are happier than if you do not. For example my recent falling out with a friend who coincidentally was failing a social service worker class. This proves that academic success definitely plays a part in lasting friendship. Of course when he was doing well in school he was a very happy guy but I think the stress of failing changed him.
Why do I need friends who take logical stances on issues? Well it sucks when you are stating theoretical information online and everyone is taking you literally all the time. For example of course I think low wage jobs can be a waste of time. Little room for advancing in the company, very little long time return for a lengthy investment of time. If I state that to friends with academic backgrounds they can see where I am coming from.
However if you say that to someone who suffers with the pride of Tim Hortons for example. Well things can get ugly… I am idealistic, if none of your managers have a job you want with your future. Get out of the company before a tenure of six months! Not all jobs are meant to be empowering… People in academics understand this theory and try to plan accordingly which is why they benefit from a logical stance on issues. The before mentioned friend worked at Tim Hortons then tried handling the school load and of course that mucked up his quality of work at school. Leading school to suffer not the job…
Lastly if you are quick to temper we are not a good fit as friends. I like this quote from Dixie on Quora,
Plus in some cases people don’t see their quick anger as quite the weakness they should. Instead they see it as a strength. Even though it compromises problem solving skills, interpersonal relationships and puts more stress on their brain. Either way it is hard to see someone go through that all the time with out getting the proper help. I personally do get angry irrationally from time to time but I seek out counselling and my higher power for the ability to forgive. It is not worth being right all the time.
If you have ever watched the TV show House you can see that he is very intelligent, angry and right on everything but he is a severely unhappy man. In some cases you want to be wrong and happy not right and alone. if you invest too much in being right
To conclude there is something to be said for taking a bit more time to strategically choose friendships weather clients or personal friends. Make sure to choose people who are educated, logical thinkers and not quick to temper. These are not the friends that will last long term. To be quite honest a good metaphor to use is your weakest friend is your biggest anchor in life. So make sure you only add light weight and balloons to your rise to the top.
I am Ashton Deroy from Digi-Connex, be sure to follow me on Twitter and like Digi-Connex on Facebook: