For those who don’t know I consider myself a good catch for a future mate. I am passionate about what I do, I am looking to start a future and I am usually chill to hang out with. Guess what? Dating wise I am not the brightest…
Here is some advice to avoid some of the mistakes I’ve been making on dates:
- You showed you flaws before your benefits– You can’t be going around on dates with a list of your mental disorders, obsessions or various quirks. Remember the objective on a date is to actually get another human being to like you! That is hard to do if they think they are staring across a cafe to an obsessive compulsive lunatic. I say avoid mentioning mental illness, quirks with pets and other weirdness until you get a third date.
- You were too clingy – Its cliche but we are who we are. Unfortunately I am the type of person who smothers their cats and potential mates. People want to chase after you not get you easily. No one dreams of being in a human straight jacket on a first date! Don’t do what I do… Give them some space.
- You put out/You didn’t put out – Sex is a weird deal breaker on first dates in the sense you can screw things up both ways. My opinion is putting out on first dates is not a sign of low self worth. I think it is an expression of healthy sexuality. Some people might feel it is a bit promiscuous however and a sign of low character. In my mind there is no golden rule on how far to go on the first date! So why bother waiting to see if someone is compatible with you?
To conclude dating is screwed up. People expect to date flawless, hard to get people with a sexuality that meshes perfectly to their’s. Do yourself a favour and get a best friend who you can have a totally non-sexual relationship with. I feel like somehow in your early 20’s that is the best you can do.
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